Got the t-shirt!

Well I've officially joined the crazies who've done it natural! As in NATURAL CHILDBIRTH! That's right folks, we have a baby and I didn't get my epidural - not by choice mind you! I think everyone who wants to go natural & has done it & would purposely do it again is a total hippie & crazy! Talk about the worst, most painful hours of my LIFE! It SUCKED!

We went to the hospital yesterday (Wednesday) morning around 9 and they determined I wasn't actually in labor yet cause my contractions were too far apart and I was still only dilated to a 2 (same as at my appt. the day before, which by the way I'd had my membranes stripped again & this time it hurt!). Apparently I was having "uterine irritations" in between the real contractions but since I'd never heard of uterine irritations I thought my contractions were 3-5 mins apart when we went. Anyway, they monitored me forEVER because my blood pressure was high & they ended up doing blood tests. After sitting in a hospital bed for 4+ hours they decided I could go home if I wanted. Since we were pretty sure I'd be back later that day we decided to just stay & have them hook me up to pitocin. After a few hours of pitocin I was only dilated to a 3 but the plan was to have my Dr. break my water, let me dilate to a 4 or 5, give me an epidural, & get the show on the road. So Dr. Taylor came in a little before 6 and broke my water (ouch!) and went home. Within 5 minutes I was having VERY painful contractions! The funny hair we'd drawn on the little pain scale faces earlier wasn't so funny any more. My pain was 10 - I was in tears. My nurse gave me a half dose of Stadol (basically a narcotic to take the edge off the pain) which didn't help so she gave me another half dose which made me extremely loopy & TIRED! I was high as a kite but could hardly keep my head up! And the pain was only reduced to an 8-9! My nurse told me no matter what I was dilated to when the anesthesiologist got there (like if I was still only a 3) she'd make sure I got my epidural. Of course the anesthesiologist had to run an errand first so it was going to be half an hour before he was there. So about 30 minutes later my nurse checked me & I was dilated to 8! She was pretty much shocked! After a few more contractions the anesthesiologist got there so she checked me again just to make sure I wasn't fully dilated but it turned out I was! So it was too late for the epidural! By that point I thought it would be a relief to push. Dr. Taylor had just got back to the hospital and barely had time to scrub up & have the nurses get the bed adjusted when it was time to push. 3 contractions/pushes later they put our new baby girl on my chest! And let me just say, FEELING a baby being pushed out is a whole nother world of pain- not a relief! Next time you have to take a big poop imagine pooping out - no, not a watermelon as many have suggested - watermelons are smooth! Imagine pushing out a freaking sculpture and having it take a minute! Natural childbirth SUCKS!

So yeah, it was pretty much the worst hour or so of my life! I HATED every second of it! Basically I went from a 3-10 in about 40 minutes. My main nurse said that in her 12 years she's never had anybody go that fast. Not that I want to even THINK about having another baby anytime soon after that traumatic experience, but next time I have a baby I'm going to make sure they plan on giving me an epidural either before they break my water or immediately after! (oh yeah, I went fairly quickly with Jackson too, but definitely not THAT fast! I got the epidural with him!)

One humorous/ironic thing: earlier in the day we'd heard another girl on the floor in labor for at least a couple of hours & she was VERY vocal with swearing, crying, and yelling. As bad as we felt for her I just kept thinking "shoulda got the epidural!" Ha ha!

So now the part you've all been waiting for. Duh-duh-duh! Here she is:

Ellie (because we like it) Jeannine (after Jer's Grandma) Divis

March 5, 2008

6:59 PM

7 lbs 2 oz

19" long